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Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner. The key to the success of this process is that it makes your partner want to change ? instead of feeling coerced.


1. MAKE A LIST of the top three behaviors your partner does that annoy you. For example Wholesale NFL Jerseys , leaves messes around house, pouts, doesn't do their share of household tasks. Then select the one problem that has the best chance of your partner responding to your discomfort. You'll increase your chances for success dramatically by focusing on one problem at a time. Let's go for a big one here and say the problem is that your partner is not involved in household chores.


2. DESCRIBE THE PROBLEM in clear detail. This includes what your partner does and your reaction to the problem. For example: ?Honey, there is a problem I need to discuss with you. When you come home from work and start reading the mail, change your clothes Wholesale Jerseys China Free Shipping , or turn on the news without looking around and noticing the kids are cranky, squalling for dinner, and I'm really busy making dinner, I see you as a blind and insensitive clod.?


3. DESCRIBE YOUR REACTION to the problem. ?When you act so oblivious, I think you care much more about responding to your own needs first and foremost Wholesale Jerseys Cheap , and you pitch in only when it is convenient for you. I feel angry, alone, and resentful. When I feel that way I end up being chilly to you and withdrawing any affection. I don't like how I react but that is what I have been doing.?


Here is the ?formula? for describing the problem. A) You have specified the behavior of ?not being involved in household chores? by giving specific examples. B) You have given your reaction to it by stating: ?when you do (the behavior) I think_____ (you're inconsiderate...) and feel _____ (angry, alone, resentful) Wholesale Jerseys Online , and then I do _____ (withhold affection). It is important to let your partner know what your complete response is to the behavior that is a problem. Especially let them know what you do when you think and feel the way you do. This really informs your partner of the consequence to them when they do the undesired behavior. Include in your reaction the meaning of the problem for you. For example, lack of involvement in household tasks represents not being loved, respected, or valued.


4. BE EMPATHETIC. Tell y